you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Boobs speak an international language.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
