I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
