Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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