You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
there is puke in my bra ... again
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