More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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