is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
