therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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