normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
