Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
