I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
