I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
