im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
