Me. At least after what I've been through.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
