I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
