well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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