I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
