quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
