dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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