that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
