WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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