do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
