Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
