I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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