This dress was meant to end up on your floor
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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