.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Randomize
