***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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