i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize