I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
