Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
