been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
