My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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