i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
