is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
