I wish you could order shots online.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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