I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
