At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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