dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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