AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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