If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
