I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
