So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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