im six kinds of drunk right now
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
