I didn't shave. On purpose
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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