You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
