i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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