im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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