I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
