I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
