I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize