I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
