After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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