Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
