Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
