You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
