How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
