but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
