where am i from again
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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