I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
