Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
