did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
