STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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